lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
yourstruly
Ephraim, Yi Qin, Qin-Qin, Ben-ben. That's ME! God have given me an interesting personality. I'm a sanguine, in another word, an extrovert. I love to be around people. Some people accused that i'm lame. Well, i do find myself guilty, sometimes. Of course, at times, you will find me in very deep thoughts. I'm created to be thinker too.
Sometimes i think too much and can be rather emotions-driven. Curious about my love life? Well, the love of my life is God! I love gorry, bloody and gruesome movies and thrillers, such as SAW 1,2,3 ; Mindhunter; When a stranger calls etc. Jazz musics are pleasing to my ears. Buildiing a strong and biblical guys group to win the world is my vision!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
"do you hate your dad?" .......
-12:32 AM
"hey, just want to ask, do you hate your dad?" he asked with pure innonence, without any intention to hurt me.But, all i could say, was simply,"erm..........."Perhaps some of you didnt know that, my parents divorced a few years back. It wasn't something that i never expected. In the matter of fact, since i was young, i always question myself "Will dad and mum divorced?"
Since i was still a young boy, i have always witness how my parents quarrelled over stupid stuffs, like my mum bringing us to swimming. I have always prepared myself for the worse. But the truth is that, when that day finally came, no amount of preparation would be able to prevent the scars. That few months was indeed not too easy for me. i remembered numerous nights where i was laying on my bed, listening to them quarrelling outside, but could not do anything at all. Nothing at all. All i could do, was to cry and questioned God, "Why me? Why me? WHY ME???!!!!" Silence was all i received. He didnt answer my question. He didnt explain to me why did i have to go thru all these! Neither did he send angels to comfort me! However, what i experienced was definately more than enough; more than i ever deserved.Like what i said, he didnt explained to me anything. But what he did was just- being with me. Those nights that i lied on my bed and cried out to him, i was not alone. He was all the while there, embracing me into his big and warmth arms of love, comforting me like a father coaxing a his child. I can never explained how it felt like exactly, but it was just awesome!!! He didnt just sent me his presence, but he also gave me a great family to cling on to! My spiritual family-yhope! Many people were there for me. Peopel like dennis, apinun, star, and especially my ex-shepherd-bing liang, who always tries to be there for me whenever i needed him! They were literally angels sent by God to me! (though too ugly to be angels haha =P) That's why i really really really really thank God for blessing me with such a GREAT bunch of people in yhope! Seriuosly, i really dun know who will i become, or what i be doing now, if it wasnt God who picked me up from the miry clay and set me feet on solid rock. And honestly, my answer to the his question, was a simple "No." It is really from the bottom of my heart that i do not hate my dad. If you ask me why, it was simply becoz of God's love in my life! If he were to ask me the same question few years back, when i do not have God's love in life, i will comfirm HATE him to the CORE! I'm dead serious about that! I will freaking hate him for what he has done to the family-my sis, my mum, and myself. But becos i have now experienced God's love, i can be able to say with full confidence that i still love him. Though i do not know where he is now, what he is doing right now, i really hope that one day, i will be able to meet him and share to him about God's love. He needs it more than anyone! "What will you do if he's ..... dead?" He asked with great caution.This was my answer " I would want to be there, by his bedside, sharing to him about how God have changed my life, before he's dead. Though he left a scar in my heart, i will still want him to be in heaven with me. I do not have a wholesome family on earth. But, when i'm in heaven, the least i would want- a family reunion."
